MAYDAY! MAYDAY! DonnieT Tazes Self and Sets His Hair on Fire! BillyC Puts Out Flames with CruzzHairBomb! DT Peeved and Asks for HairB Birth C! TeddyCruzz Denies HBomb Born in Canada! Cruzz Chapped Over HairBomb BirthCert Truther Attack! Invented, Made, and Sold on Real Texas Dirt! Hair on Fire Outted in 30 Seconds! Double P, TC, Double P! Single P Trumpster! Never Had Double Passport and You're Fired!
About that time, Jeb woke up and asked who was on fire. The Compound had morphed into The Hot Tamale Debate Center featuring a primeval BattleBots competition that included BlueTooth Bots with RoboControlled Solar BlockChain Drives. Jeb quickly launches a verbal barrage aimed at Donnie's smoking hairpiece, accusing The Donald of converting ObamaCare to Trump(Sorta)Cares (But Not That Much). Jeb asks DonnieT point blank: Who's going to pay for TrumpCares?
Jeb-I like your energy! When you wake up, you put out more smoke than my compadres who burn quality weed to keep their cattle happy. So why aren't you in the TrumpEverglades, bunking down with BigSugar? In fact, I think that might work for you when you go mano a mano with Marioto in Daytona: Little Jeb/BigSugar making The Everglades the best and sweetest resort ever.
In an amazing show of unfiltered chutzpah, DTrump decided to build a model Tex-Mex fence around The Compound to prove how easy it would be to "build that sucker" using cheap Tejano labor imported from Chihuahua. DonnieT apologized upfront to "my peeps" for using illegals, but he said,
My number 1 goal was to get that gorgeous wood and chainlink perimeter erected on time and under budget. Thanks to TheCube's SharkTime investment, I will build a fence that Texans will flock to see while enjoying all the amenities of TheTrumpCubanoFantasyCompound. Bird's-eye views of real-time construction as you hang ten from TheDTZipLineExpress. Fantasy sports to the Max, with 5% of all proceeds funding the initial prototype of MadisonSquareTrump, an absolutely huge replica of Madison SquareGardens with the whole rack-big hockey/big hoops/bigtime medical care with real superstar docs operating on this huge open surgical suite right in the middle of center court. Valet nurses/robotic anesthesia/real patients!
My assignment was to make sure that all the kids and babies who were born in The Compound continued to receive the medical care they "needed and deserved" per the VP of Good Health and Meaningful PR-BillyClinton. Somehow he persuaded Hillary to let him go "deep undercover" working for DonnieT and his winner-take-all electric hair-and figure out if they should build their own Arkansas version of BHCM-Billy&HillaryCareMaxx. Ole Bill had strict instructions to get me to figure out how to cherry-pick all the healthy babies, kids, and TWAs (Teens With Attitude) and convert them into healthy cash flow that would make BHCM a SuperInvestment for long-haul friends of Billy&Hillary like the Walmarts-I mean Waltons.
Wait a minute BigGuy, I said as I looked directly into the peepers of MrBill. What you are asking me to do is to find simple, useful ways to figure out who is healthy and up for reading Diary of a Wimpy Kiddo to his or her fellow first graders. But what do you do with the rest of all the kids who come to school with snotty noses and coughs that hang on forever? Eventually, they get pneumonia so that mom misses work, stresses out 'cause she has no more sick days, and gets an ulcer from being sleep-deprived and a truant parent whose kids are way over the limit for excused absences.
TwoNoTrump! DT wants TrumpCares to take care of everybody, and he will figure it out. We think he's the perfect guy for the job, and, if he beats us from open-carry to open-health, we want to be gracious losers who will be there for Plan B. Or Plan BHCM.