Authors

  1. Seay, Andrea Nicole MS, RN, PPCNP-BC

Abstract

A vow to provide victims of abuse the nursing intervention the author never had.

 

Article Content

Day in and day out, a child lives in fear. Her stomach often twists in knots of pain for hours before the pain fades away. The doctors can find no medical reason for the pain. Her mother angrily accuses her of faking it, of being more trouble than she's worth. The child is often told how stupid she is. Though her father sometimes protects her, at times his medication doesn't work and he transforms from a caring protective father into a crazed abusive one. Even when the child is unharmed, she stays in a constant state of panic as soon as she walks in her front door.

  
Figure. Illustration... - Click to enlarge in new windowFigure. Illustration by Anne Horst.

What kind of a mood will my mother be in today? Did my dad take his meds? Will the meds work? These are the questions that run through her mind. The abuse isn't just delivered to her. More than once, her mother has picked up a large kitchen knife and threatened to stab it into her own heart to end her pain.

 

Her father cannot understand why his wife won't leave the temperature in the home alone, so he pushes her hard enough to hit her skull against the floor. The child rushes to grab a pillow and place it under her mother's head. Ambulance sirens ring through the night. The child is dropped off at her cousin's house. She hears whispers of her mother's coma. Days pass before her "perfect" family of three is reunited again at her home.

 

Bruises cover the child's face as blood dries in small pools in her ear. Using makeup, her mother attempts to cover the battle blemishes she's inflicted. In the locker room at school, a friend's mouth hangs open as she scans the girl's body and face.

 

"What happened?" her friend asks.

 

"Nothing," the child replies. "I fell down some stairs." The friend only shakes her head as she curses under her breath.

 

Before the end of the day, the child is called into the counselor's office. Her heart drops as she realizes what will come next. The portly redheaded counselor looks over the child and reassures her that she is safe. At first, the child responds guardedly. The counselor assures her that she will be protected.

 

So the child reveals the entire episode, with a whisper to please not make her return home. The counselor tells her, "I'm sorry. Child Protective Services must be called, but for now you have to go home. But you will be safe." Hopeless, the child knows she might never see this beautiful counselor or the light of day again.

 

With tears falling, she looks up from the bottom of her driveway and knows what awaits her: her father, waving his angry fist, shouting, "How dare you call CPS on me? You think you're abused? I will kill you!" She turns and flees. She runs and runs, only to be found and returned.

 

CPS imposes mandatory counseling on her parents, but the first session never happens-to escape their shame under the watchful eye of social services, her parents flee the town for a large city where they can blend in inconspicuously. The child realizes now that she is not only in danger but also all alone. How has it helped to confide in a counselor? Still, a small flame burns inside of her, the light of knowledge and hope. She prays on her knees for survival, hoping to become an adult so that she can save not only herself but also others.

 

The child stumbles and falls many times along her path to survival. She runs away time and time again. She is mercilessly returned to her home. As she gets older, she falls into the arms of one wrong man after another.

 

Other people along the way reach out to her in an attempt to show her what motherly love feels like and what it means to love unconditionally. One of these is a school nurse who feeds her from her own pocket during the teenager's high school lunch hour as her own parents starve her and her unborn child.

 

The child is now an adult, a child abuse survivor, and a proud member of the nursing profession. Her mission is to strengthen family health and to protect children from abuse. Her will cannot be broken and her resolve is steadfast. Along her path of knowledge, she learns how her parents might have been helped. Her abuse might not have been as severe if someone had intervened at the right moment.

 

She understands the power of a nursing intervention. It might have prevented the abuse, might have educated her parents on how to parent and how to seek help. As a nurse, she realizes that our lives are touched for a reason, and we have a choice in what we do with our triumphs and tragedies. What touches your life?