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BOOKS

WHY ME?

A DOCTOR LOOKS AT THE BOOK OF JOB

 

Diane M. Komp

 

137 pp., Downers Grove, Ill.: InterVarsity Press, 2001, $11.99, hardcover.

 

This beautifully designed book provides encouragement from the book of Job through the eyes of a compassionate physician. Komp easily traverses between the contemporary struggles she faces with her patients and the biblical story of Job's suffering. She brings comfort to the sick and to caregivers alike, while transparently sharing her humanity in the face of suffering. Each short chapter concludes with thought questions for "Modern Jobs and Job's Caregivers." These questions could stimulate good small-group discussion.

  
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Despite its heavy title, this is not a somber book. Komp vividly shares her thoughts and fears with honesty, tenderness and gentle humor. She talks freely of times when she experienced failure, as well as surprising successes. In the process she recognizes God's obvious intervention as she faces impossible situations squarely. She shares her questions, then helps the reader to feel comfortable when they can't be answered, other than to trust in our loving God.

 

Topics include frustrations and hopes of anyone surrounded by suffering, including compassion fatigue, insensitive friends and caregivers; the power of prayer; and the need for God's perspective on impossible situations. Each chapter is only five or six pages long in an easy-to-read format. The book is small and lightweight, convenient to read in bed. It would make an excellent gift for anyone struggling with the problem of suffering-those facing personal suffering and those who care for them.-JAS

 

BE NOT AFRAID

By David Ivaska

 

131 pp., Downers Grove, Ill.: InterVarsity Press, 2000, $6.99, paperback.

 

Ivaska wrote these studies when faced with an overwhelming schedule and his personal fears. They come out of his experience as an InterVarsity staff worker; however, they will bring comfort and strength to those facing the fears surrounding serious illness or caring for the seriously ill. The author surveys the Bible from Genesis to Revelation for the fear not passages and seeks to discover what God says about fear.

 

Divided into ten groups of six studies each, the book is designed as a daily personal devotional guide, followed by a weekly small-group study summarizing the passages studied during the week. The individual studies could be used for brief, small-group Bible discussions. Topics include: 1) from fear to faith; 2) be strong and courageous; 3) if only you could see; 4) encouraging others who fear; 5) you are mine; 6) I know my God is for me; 7) fearing God; 8) your Savior has come; 9) my peace I leave with you; and 10) a peace you cannot fathom.-JAS

 

SURVIVING GRIEF

30 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS FOR A TIME OF LOSS

 

By A. M. Brady Reinsmith

 

102 pp., Valley Forge, Penn.: Judson Press, 2001, $6.00, paperback.

 

My question when I received this book was, "Do we need another book on grief and grieving?" My answer after reading it is yes.

  
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Reinsmith writes with an almost poetic quality, giving depth of feeling to what is often missing from other writers on this subject. This is not a cookbook approach to grief, saying, "If you follow these simple steps, you will be fine." Rather, the author reminds us that as Christians we have made a covenant with God, in Christ, not simply to work toward our development as persons but to allow ourselves to be transformed. Thus, the experience of loss can become an empowering experience in our lives, one that helps to bring about this transformation.

 

The book deals realistically with grief in regard to time and struggle, and helps in healing and living in faith. Though suggestions are given to facilitate recovery, they focus primarily on strengthening one's faith through prayer; dealing with distressful feelings; resolving forgiveness issues; experiencing the divine presence of God; and the reframing of events and circumstances into a grace-gift from God. Seeing grief as a grace-gift enables us to turn our eyes into the eyes of God to see what he sees in the situation. The loved ones need to "take care of themselves" physically, emotionally and spiritually during the grieving period.

 

A genuine tenderness is conveyed through the book's pages. The most profound insight, not talked about in other works on this subject but indeed true, is: "Actively grieving the loss of a loved one is the surest way to honor this unique relationship and to enhance one's personal well-being. Gradually, [horizontal ellipsis] we enter into a new kind of deeply spiritual relationship with our deceased loved one." We end up getting over the loss of the loved one but not the love we had for the one we grieve.

 

As I write, I have been informed that my sister-in-law has died. Now three of the seven siblings are gone, including my husband. I notice that with this death I grieve them all once again. I remember the love and the way we expressed it to one another. I am sad, but I am also transformed by the experiences I have had, especially in the loss of my husband. Through all of the deaths, God is ever present, mending our broken spirits and bringing us to renewal in peace and freedom. This author understands these previously uncaptured realities. In only 102 pages, Reinsmith poetically and clearly brings new meaning to the experience of grief.-Reviewed by Bonnie J. Miller, RN, MS, associate professor of nursing at Xavier University, Cincinnati, Ohio

 

SPIRITUAL CARE

NURSING THEORY, RESEARCH AND PRACTICE

 

By Elizabeth J. Taylor

 

296 pp., Saddle River, N.J.: Prentice Hall, 2002, $36.40, paperback.

 

Taylor, an associate professor in the school of nursing at Loma Linda University, presents an accumulation of the theory, research and practice of spiritual care in a text for basic nursing students. She takes a generic approach to spirituality, stating: "A common expression, 'boosting one's spirits,' captures some aspects of the essence of spiritual care. In this book, we will define spiritual care as the activities and ways of being that bring spiritual quality of life, well-being, and function-all of which are dimensions of health-to clients" (p. 24).

  
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Those who teach spiritual care will find a rich compilation of resources with varying quality and value. The author has attempted to present a comprehensive overview of available material on spirituality that would be appropriate to use with students in a public university setting.

 

Taylor reviews the history of spiritual care and professional mandates for providing spiritual care without critical evaluation. She looks at some of the nursing theories that include spirituality, again without critical analysis from a worldview perspective. She quotes the nursing literature and research extensively throughout the book with little discernment of the quality of the works cited. She does highlight some references in bold print as "those that are most recommended" but does not indicate the criteria for those recommendations.

 

Most Christians will find Taylor's approach difficult because all forms of spirituality are regarded as essentially equal and neutral or good. Evangelism-even in the positive sense of telling one's own story-is discouraged. The characteristics of various major religions are described, but the explanations are simplistic and not entirely accurate. Respect for people of other religions and their customs seems to be equated with supporting the religion itself. However, for the most part, spiritual care is presented primarily as good psychosocial support.-JAS

 

A CAREGIVER'S SURVIVAL GUIDE

HOW TO STAY HEALTHY WHEN YOUR LOVED ONE IS SICK

 

By Kay Marshall Strom

 

153 pp., Downers Grove, Ill.: InterVarsity Press, 2000, $9.99, paperback.

 

As the title suggests, Strom's book is directed to caregivers, those caring for a loved one who is ill. She movingly weaves in her story of caring for her husband, Larry, who, when fairly young, developed a strange, rare and debilitating neurological disease, chorea acanthocytosis. Strom invites caregivers to share in the journey, saying the "journey should not and need not be made alone." This guidebook is a balance of stories, the author's, others' and God's, with specific suggestions and how-to's. She is realistic and hopeful, combining her situation with her faith in God.

  
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One recurring theme is the experience of guilt in caring for a loved one. She addresses that emotion from various angles because it seems to arise in many areas of caregiving. She says you will feel guilty, but you need to get over it!! You have a responsibility to keep yourself healthy and to have a life of your own. If you don't, your loved one may suddenly be without your help. Strom says, "I need to give my family, friends and church family an opportunity to be involved."

 

The author explores the impact of the illness and caregiving on the whole family-role changes, energy depletion and availability. She challenges us not to underestimate God's power at work in family members, especially in the children.

 

In the chapter on emotional stress relief, Strom challenges the caregiver to prioritize and uncover and confront "the shoulds," changing them to "with God's help I will [horizontal ellipsis]" statements. Prayer is a key resource, but the author suggests that caregivers "pray in faith, open to answers we don't want"; prayer for both the sick loved one and for yourself; praying with and for him for encouragement, to value himself, to be willing to do what he can do and to have a sense of purpose in life; praying for yourself to experience God's comfort and for wisdom in caring for yourself and for the ability to express emotions honestly.

 

Guidelines are given for balancing "how much I should push him versus doing for him," playing the parent role and avoiding being made to feel guilty. The author suggests setting limits on time and emotional and physical effort. She recommends that the caregiver asks the Lord for wisdom, laying the situation before him. Strom endorses professional counseling, "to let you talk and help you explore your options." She values finding others who are walking the same path, to talk about the caregiving situation. She suggests joining a support group and provides specific steps for starting one if there is none in the area.

 

Strom gives helpful guidelines for choosing a facility, when that time comes, and how to be involved after the move. The financial discussion includes ideas about sheltering assets and finding a good attorney. Other areas explored include dealing with loss and grief, the need for forgiveness and assuming the attitude of a grateful heart.

 

This little book is an encouragement and a guide, personal yet instructive. It was like talking with someone who has gone on the same path I have. It is a good resource to share with friends and patient families.-Reviewed by Maureen Salladay, RN, MPH, campus staff for Nurses Christian Fellowship/InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, eastern Ohio, and part-time home care nurse

 

BOOK BRIEFS

JCN receives more books than we have space to review. Book Briefs are short synopses based on publishers 'descriptions: JCN staff have not read or evaluated these books.

 

AGING AND SPIRITUALITY

SPIRITUAL DIMENSIONS OF AGING THEORY, RESEARCH, PRACTICE AND POLICY

 

Edited by David O. Moberg

 

249 pp., New York: The Haworth Pastoral Press, 2001, $24.95, paperback.

 

In their later years, many people devote energy to a process of spiritual awakening and self-discovery. Yet their families and caregivers are not always prepared to assist them with spiritual concerns. By integrating spiritual issues into a theoretical framework of social gerontology, sociologist Moberg explains the scientific, research-based foundations, practical applications and public policy implications of spirituality for older adults.

 

SIX MONTHS TO LIVE

LEARNING FROM A YOUNG MAN WITH CANCER

 

By Daniel Hallock

 

136 pp., Farmington, Penn.: The Plough Publishing House, 2001, $10.00, paperback.

 

This is the gripping story of Matt, in his twenties, newly married and full of life, but also dying of lymphoma. A member of a Christian community in western Pennsylvania, the Bruderhof, Matt was diagnosed one month before his wedding. He died six months later. Hallock tells how Matt, his family and his friends struggled to accept his suffering and how it changed each of them. The book is about facing, rather than avoiding, life's most important questions while still living life to the fullest.

 

JOURNEY INTO DAY

MEDITATIONS FOR NEW CANCER PATIENTS

 

By Rusty Freeman

 

221 pp., Valley Forge, Penn.: Judson Press, 2000, $13.00, paperback.

 

In this spiritual guide for cancer patients, two-time cancer survivor Freeman, a pastor, weaves his experiences with Scripture passages to help other cancer patients identify with the emotions and practical issues they will face in their battle with the disease. Whether you or someone you care for is facing afresh diagnosis, surgery, prolonged and painful treatment, or even the after-struggles of remission, these meditative insights and Scriptures will be an uplifting but realistic source of encouragement.

  
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AS I JOURNEY ON

MEDITATIONS FOR THOSE FACING DEATH

 

By Sharon Dardis and Cindy Rogers

 

125 pp., Minneapolis, Minn.: Augsburg, 2000, $10.99, paperback.

 

Each of us faces life and death individually, yet we also face them as part of a larger reality-of family, friends, community and spirit. Whether feeling the solitude or the belonging in our living and dying, the meditations in this book touch us and inspire us for courage, sharing and understanding. By addressing the important, but difficult, topics of facing the end of this life, the authors (Dardis is an RN with nineteen years of experience in hospice, death, dying and bereavement) demystify the topic and give permission to think, talk and act in meaningful and satisfying resolution. As I Journey On will guide the dying and help their families and friends.

 

SPIRITUAL CARE FOR PERSONS WITH DEMENTIA

FUNDAMENTALS FOR PASTORAL PRACTICE

 

Edited by Larry VandeCreek

 

125 pp., New York: The Haworth Pastoral Press, 2001, $17.95, paperback.

 

This multiple-authored volume describes the losses involved in dementia and offers suggestions for how to help a person with dementia remember. We are to look for points of connectedness and expression of feelings in the now that can guide us in giving care. We can give dignity by our presence, but this may require us to confront our own fears and limitations. Suggestions include worship, touch, music, presence, love, smell, color, play, pets, humor and nature.

 

THE SPIRITUAL DIMENSION OF AGEING [SIC]

By Elizabeth MacKinley

 

272 pp., London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2001, $22.95, paperback.

 

The author is a senior lecturer at the school of nursing, University of Canberra (Australia) and also a university chaplain, with ties to the Anglican Church. Based on a research study consisting of in-depth interviews with older people, the book presents an understanding of spirituality that explores the spiritual dimension of aging and demonstrates how it contributes to well-being and health in later life. The book is available from Taylor & Francis/Routledge, (800) 634-7064; fax (800) 248-4724.

 

CARE FOR THE SOUL

EXPLORING THE INTERSECTION OF PSYCHOLOGY AND THEOLOGY

 

Edited by Mark R. McMinn and Timothy R. Phillips

 

364 pp., Downers Grove, Ill.: InterVarsity Press, 2001, $22.99, paperback.

 

This scholarly, multiple-authored volume looks at the interface between psychology and theology as it applies to the care of souls. Authors include primary psychologists but also theologians, ethicists and one pastor/psychiatrist. The chapters discuss the current state of theology and psychology; overcoming Christian psychology's acquiescence to secularism; theological resources for developing Christian psychology; taking theology to heart in psychology; and taking psychology to heart in theology and Christian life.

  
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HELPER'S JOURNEY

WORKING WITH PEOPLE FACING GRIEF, LOSS AND LIFE-THREATENING ILLNESS

 

Dale G. Larson

 

240 pp., Champaign, Ill.: Research Press, 1993, $19.95, paperback.

 

Larson values self-disclosure and sees it as important for healing. Clients struggle because our society and culture do not value sharing secrets or painful issues in our lives. Helpers can also fall into this trap by seeing themselves as givers who don't need to share their own struggles and secrets. Communication skills such as the use of silence, paraphrases and observing nonverbal cues provide a safe place for the client to share his thoughts and secrets. The role of the counselor is to elicit this sharing for eventual self-understanding and healing.

 

IS RELIGION GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH?

THE EFFECTS OF RELIGION ON PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH

 

By Harold G. Koenig

 

137 pp., New York: The Haworth Pastoral Press, 2001, $19.95, paperback.

 

Koenig, an associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences and assistant professor of medicine at Duke, examines and summarizes the research findings for and against the proposition that religion is good for one's health. The book focuses on physical and mental health as conventionally defined in relation to religion. Although the evidence identifies a positive correlation between religious commitment and health, the author carefully qualifies his conclusions, keeping the door open for further research.

 

LIFE ON HOLD

FINDING HOPE IN THE FACE OF SERIOUS ILLNESS

 

By Laurel Seiler Brunvoll and David G. Seiler

 

288 pp., Sisters, Ore.: Multnomah Publishers, 2001, $10.99, paperback.

 

When Seiler and his daughter Brunvoll confronted the sudden onset of cancer in their wife and mother, they found themselves in unfamiliar territory: fear, setbacks, treatments and endless waiting. This manual for survival during traumatic illness shows how to live well and trust God in the face of life-threatening disease-your own or that of a person for whom you care deeply. This is a resource for how to cope with sudden changes; how to relate to those who are suffering; how to sympathize and communicate with patients; how to comfort and assist hurting people.

  
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WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY

HELPING IN TIMES OF CRISIS

 

By Mary Ann Froehlich and Peggy Sue Wells

 

108 pp., Minneapolis, Minn.: Bethany House, 2000, $7.99, paperback.

 

A coworker's child dies. Your best friend is laid off at work. A relative is hospitalized. Your next-door neighbors are getting a divorce. You want to help, but in the midst of your busy schedule, you don't know how. Packed with 150 real-life examples that show how a single thoughtful act can become a touch of grace, this book answers the universal question, "How can I help?" The collection of stories of people touching the lives of others will inspire you and trigger ideas of your own.

 

WALKING THROUGH THE WATERS

BIBLICAL REFLECTIONS FOR FAMILIES OF CANCER PATIENTS

 

By Nancy Regensburger

 

108 pp., Nashville, Tenn.: Upper Room Books, 2001, $10.00, paperback.

 

Families of cancer patients will find support in Walking Through the Waters. Capturing grief issues in a helpful way emotionally and from a biblical/theological standpoint, the author brings a spiritual perspective to what is often a chaotic, frightening experience. She kept a journal during the diagnosis and treatment of her husband's Hodgkin's disease and shares her insights, guiding readers to spiritual resources. Each section ends with questions for personal reflection or group discussion.

  
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HEAVEN OBSERVED

GLIMPSES OF TRANSCENDENCE IN EVERYDAY LIFE

 

By Barry Morrow

 

383 pp., Colorado Springs: NavPress, 2001, $21.00, hardcover.

 

Despite the popularity of heaven and the afterlife in current discussions, our post-Christian culture gives little credence to biblical teaching about it. As a result, the unchurched and evangelicals alike miss out on the transforming, biblical hope of heaven. This book brings you back to that crucial hope, offering insights into the inconsolable longings of the heart and providing sound encouragement to your spiritual journey-both in daily life and as you look forward to the prospect of eternity.

 

THANKS FOR THE MAMMOGRAM!!

FIGHTING CANCER WITH FAITH, HOPE AND A HEALTHY DOSE OF LAUGHTER

 

By Laura Jensen Walker

 

170 pp., Grand Rapids, Mich.: Revell/Baker, 2000, $12.99, hardcover.

 

When Walker was diagnosed with breast cancer on her first wedding anniversary, she found humor to be healing in the midst of terrifying circumstances. In this energetic and hope-filled book, she draws on her faith and that sense of humor to write about a frightening experience that one in nine women will face. Cancer patients who read this book will feel the connection of a friend who has walked this path before. They will feel encouraged and uplifted, able to face the reality of their situation with faith, hope and humor intact.

 

CARING FOR A LOVED ONE WITH ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE

A CHRISTIAN PERSPECTIVE

 

By Elizabeth T. Hall

 

249 pp., New York: The Haworth Pastoral Press, 2000, $18.95, paperback.

 

The author, who cared for her mother from the onset of disabilities associated with aging, tells the story of her daily struggles as a caregiver and how God's presence in her life helped to reduce them. She includes practical, day-to-day tips for living with a loved one suffering from senile dementia and how your spirituality can make the journey easier for both of you. Caring and supportive, this guide provides an honest description of the emotions you may be forced to face while dealing with someone with Alzheimer's disease and how God's presence in your life can help to lift your burden.

 

VIDEOS

WHEN YOUR PARENTS NEED YOU

A GUIDE TO POSITIVE GROWTH WHEN CARING FOR YOUR AGING PARENTS

 

Produced by Charity Spatzeck-Olsen

 

35 minutes, Orleans, Mass.: Paraclete Video Productions, 2001, $79.95, including video resource book.

 

Sooner or later, most of us will face the prospect of caring for an aging parent. This video would be a source of comfort to those who have been doing it for a while, because it speaks to caregivers' thorniest issues, the psychological challenges the caregiver inevitably faces in such a demanding role. The video comes with a pamphlet filled with tips and things to consider before plunging in.

  
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The narrator uses a tone of forced cheeriness, as if he feels he needs to offset the emotionally charged issues. His manner becomes more genuine as the video progresses, as if he has entered into the reality of the caregiving situation. The video makes it clear that there are no easy answers when it comes to caring for aging parents. It appeals to a broad audience, though I was personally disappointed that spiritual issues are not considered.

 

The commandment to "honor your father and your mother" (Ex 20:12) is not to be taken lightly, especially by Christians, since it comes with the promise of a long life to those who obey. It assumes a self-sacrificing attitude on the part of the caregiver, not one widely accepted in our society. What is the basis of these attitudes, if not from God? Yet, he is never mentioned in the video.

 

Three scenarios are shown of women care-givers. One has taken her mother into her home; one has put her mother in an assisted-living facility; a third considers herself a long-distance caregiver to her parents.

 

The one who has her mother in her home first seems happy and contented, as if she's in it for the long haul. The viewer is later surprised to learn that when she is expecting her second child, she decides to put her mother in a home. She feels that if she keeps her mother with her, she cannot meet all the demands on her time, as well as keep herself sane.

 

The second woman you meet on the video is older and more sedate and appears aware of the commitment she's made. She tells us she has always hated her mother because she felt she wasn't the mother she should have been. She now resents being saddled with her mother's care. Tears well up in her eyes as she wonders aloud how she can overcome the past and do what needs to be done for her mother with the unpleasantness between them. She admits that she needs to forgive her mother. Forgiveness, grief and loss are big issues in caregiving. Significantly, this woman later describes the reconciliation that has come about between them because she was forced into the role of her mother's caregiver.

 

The third woman you meet is the one who has described herself as a long-distance caregiver. She offers helpful suggestions as to the attitude caregivers need to adopt to avoid burnout because the caregiver role is constantly changing. A clinical psychologist realistically describes what relinquishing control in such a situation means to the caregiver. Our natural inclination is to think we can fix things, if we have the right information. She says we have to let go, or we won't be able to handle it at all. We have to submit to the inexorable passage of time, which is what aging parents represent. In my opinion, this is the best advice in the video and worth considering in other situations, as well.

 

The video is good, although it could have further developed the spiritual aspects. It counsels that caregiving needs to be a soul-to-soul relationship if it's to be successful. Otherwise, the negative emotions of anger and hostility will dominate the relationship. The case studies were especially helpful. We learn best when we can identify with someone's personal situation, as opposed to listening to a lecture and taking notes.-Reviewed by Norma Singer, RN, retired staff nurse at Cook County Hospital, Chicago, Illinois